The OMM and your Carbon Footprint

[Philip Barnes]

Now the details of the OMM have been released, does anyone require a lift to the venue? Let me know.
Is it true that turnips don't have a carbon footprint?

[BARRY BLYTH]

I don't know about turnips but parsnips cooked in honey and vegetable oil are delicious moreso than when roasted which can lead to carbon deposition but not in foot format.

[phil cheek]

The big problem with root veg is that they have a very poor carbon footprint,because they mostly have to be cooked.
It has been calculated that 50% of the energy use of the potato on your plate was in cooking it,47% of the energy was in growing it(tractor fuel,fertilisers etc) & 3% in transport & packing.
If you worry about food miles & worry about buying new pots in winter from (say) Egypt,those energy figures change insignificantly(approx 49%,46%,5%)
Of course that all changes when you grow your own,in which case you have "saved" all the growing,transport & packaging energy but can feel truly righteous only if you eat your spud uncooked.
Raw spud recipes anyone???????

Phil

[Mr Turnip]

I've been digging around and unrooted some interesting stuff that has prompted me to make this fantastic offer.

We are continually being told to reduce our carbon footprints. There are many things we can all do help in achieving this fatuous state eg sticking the aluminium foil recycled from inside our fag packets to the back of a radiator or foregoing the hot shower after a run and just hoping your partner doesn't notice the accretion of grit and mud on the bed sheets. This may help to salve your conscience but alas will have little effect on the big picture. So I have come up with an idea.

Rather than trying to reduce your carbon footprint and becoming irritable and miserable in the process why not take part in the great carbon offsetting scam - oops did I say scam, I meant plan. I will help you. This is how.

For an annual subscription of £23.99 or a monthly fee of £2.39 I will plant a row of turnips which will be identified as yours by a hand carved wooden stick (taken from a forest managed by eco-friendly nitwits) bearing your name and/or family crest. These turnips will by their greedy onslaught on the carbon dioxide mountain, "offset" the heinous effects of your trip to the Alps, Scotland, Bognor Regis or wherever. An added bonus is that when ready the turnips can be brought to your table uncooked, so that you and your nearest and dearest can GNAW together in unison to the strains of Beethoven's Ode to Joy. This will serve to drown out the sound of the impending approach of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

[geofpet1]

i'd like to take you up on this offer Colin. I'll give you £2.39 next time I see you - can you start planting, and carving my personalised stick asap

[phil cheek]

"Colin"...surely not!

[Mr Turnip]

Mr Pettengruel, your misaddressed reply was brought to my attention amidst a pile of manure.
If you are serious about this, the £2.39 must be paid monthly by direct debit into my seed bank account. A four cm row of turnip seeds (I consider the variety - Early Thruster to be suited to your personality) will be planted and a stick with your details inserted in the appropriate place.

A note on sticks: these can be whittled from a choice of native species - hornbeam being a particular favourite of mine for its hardness and longevity. They can also be finished with a curious finial shaped in the form of a running man.

[Philip Barnes]

On a separate note, and harking back to a previous discussion about BMI, the new method apparently, is to measure your stomach at navel height, and again at the hip. The ratio for men is below 0.95 and for women 0.85. Can someone shed some light as to the best ratio for a turnip?? My carrots ratio is about 3, which indicates a very fat root veg.